The Gift That You Are – A Poem

I am,Three Words

first and foremost,

a writer.

I am unable,

most times,

to speak what I want to say.

And so,

like every writer,

I turn to words.

I try to emote without speaking,

paint my emotions across the page with ink.

When I write of you,

I find those splotches of ink,

usually so vibrant,

and alive,

so lacking.

I can’t find the words to tell you what you mean to me.

Usually,

the ink forms letters,

and I can arrange them into shapes,

forming syllables,

sounds,

and words.

I have never known a man as beautiful as you.

I have never been so supported,

so respected,

and so loved.

You love all of me,

every little piece,

even the parts of me that I don’t love completely.

You see me for a beautiful human being.

Seeing myself through your eyes has shown me that I am beautiful.

Before you,

I yearned for love,

For true,

honest and pure love.

You have given me these gifts,

and I am so grateful for you.

I have tried,

over hundreds of pages,

to show you,

through words,

poems,

and stories what you mean to me.

And they all fall short of the gift that you are.

When I speak,

however clumsily,

I try to tell you every emotion,

every thing,

that I have tried to tell you through ink,

over so many pages,

so many words.

When I speak instead of writing,

I can only get out a few words.

There are only three of them,

but I hope they are enough.

with every fibre of my being:

I love you.

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Lust and Lemonade – Meet Mike!

smaller coverFor the fourth of five character interviews, lets welcome Mike to the blog! It’s so nice to have you here, Mike.

Mike: Thanks for having me. Pretty spacious blog. And fancy too, I don’t know if I’m dressed well enough.

Well, no one can see what you’re wearing.

Mike: Then they can’t tell that I’m naked. That’s a good thing.

Awesome. So tell me a bit about yourself? What do you do for a living?

Mike: Why does every guy ask that? It’s like the first question you get asked. Why not ask me something else, like have you read any good books lately? Or do you like to cook?

Okay. Have you read any good books lately? Do you like to cook?

Mike: I just finished reading Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. Awesome book full of fascinating people. And I like to cook, but William just normally orders take out.

And William is your partner?

Mike: He’s my husband, yes.

How long have you guys been married?

Mike: Five years. It’s okay, I like being married. I just with we’d sleep together, just once, though.

What do you mean? Haven’t you ever slept together?

Mike: Nope. We sleep around with other people and tell each other about it afterwards. It used to be fun, actually. Like I was on some sort of sexual escapade.

It’s not fun now?

Mike: (shrugs) I guess. I just wish I had a relationship with someone that I was actually able to build something with.

But you and William have a home together?

Mike: Nah, it’s not a home. It’s four walls that hold our stuff. A home is a place filled with warmth and comfort. We don’t have that.

I’m sorry to bring all this up for you.

Mike: It’s all good. I don’t have to go see a shrink later. And you’re a good listener.

Have you ever tried to tell William how you feel?

Mike: Nah, he’s always got his dick in someone, you know? (shakes head) I don’t know. I love him. I mean, he’s my husband, right? But I don’t love this.

So tell him. Be honest with him about how you feel. What’s the worst that could happen?

Mike: We actually sleep together?

Well, sure. That’s one way to look at it.

Mike: Thanks. Thanks for listening. Did you want to fool around?

No, thank you. I’m all good…

 

 

Here’s a bit about the book:

What does it take to find love in the gay community?

In a world filled with one-night stands, glory hole blowjobs and weeklong romances, what does it take to find love? This is just what our protagonist Blaine worries about. Unlike his friends, he wants to settle down.

Chuck is just looking for Mr. Right Now. A self-proclaimed jock, he is always on the lookout for a good time. But what happens when a good time becomes a very good time? Does he run away from his feelings? Or admit them to himself?

Mike and William are having problems. Marital problems. Though they don’t sleep together, they do like to sleep with others and share their stories. They had wanted a no strings attached marriage. But they did not count on actually falling in love. With each other!

Nancy is just looking for love. True and honest love. Though a little bit eccentric, he is nonetheless good to go when he catches a bartender’s eye. But is Devon what he seems? Or does a secret lurk there?

Poppy is a little distraught. A self-proclaimed man hating lipstick lesbian, she’s beginning to have doubts about her sexuality. It may have something to do with the baby in her stomach. Her lover River Moon Falls will be pissed if she finds out!

She does the only thing she can do: turns to her best friend Blaine for help. Despairing that he will ever meet Mr. Right, Blaine is surprised to find him in Justin, the father of Poppy’s unborn son….

When all of these people come together, love is sure to show up somewhere…

We hope.

You can meet Mike in Lust and Lemonade, available April 20th from Renaissance Press! Learn more here: http://renaissancebookpress.com/

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Lust and Lemonade – Meet Poppy!

lust and lemonade cover screen

For the third of five character interviews, say hello to Poppy! Thank you for stopping by and talking with us tonight.

Poppy: You’re totally welcome. Say, does this top make me look fat?

Um…

Poppy: (laughs) I’m just puling your leg. What does a lady have to do to get a drink around here anyways?

Would you like a cup of coffee?

Poppy: Can’t, but thanks though. I’d love a cup of tea though.

Done. So tell me a little bit about yourself. What do you do for a living?

Poppy: I live, I love, I laugh.

I’m sorry?

Poppy: I live off a trust fund and money that was left to me when my parents passed away. I don’t have to work, so I don’t.

Oh, now I am sorry.

Poppy: Oh, don’t be. My parents were lovely people and they lived for a long time. They always told me to be who I was and no one else. When I came out of the closet, my mother threw a Goddess Party. It was pretty freaking awesome.

So have you always known you were lesbian?

Poppy: Sure, have you always known you had a penis?

Um…

Poppy: Just yanking the other leg. But asking me if I always knew I was gay is like asking me have I always breathed, you know?

Yeah. I know. Okay, so are you seeing anyone?

Poppy: Yeah, sort of. I’m living with a woman named Connie Collins but she likes to call herself River Moon Falls.

River Moon…?

Poppy: Yep, River Moon Falls. And for someone with such a soft name, she can be a real bitch. And don’t let her cook for you, whatever you do. She massacres food more than she cooks it.

So you’re not happy with her?

Poppy: Is anyone happy with anyone else, I mean truly happy? I’d love to find a woman like that, a sweet woman who would love all of me, even my faults. Who would stand up for me when I needed protecting, balance me when I needed grounding. Someone who would hold me up when I needed support, you know? Man, that’d be freaking sweet. It would be good if she had a nice ass too. Oh, and she’d have to be a good kisser. That’s a given.

You don’t have that with Connie, uh, River Moon Falls?

Poppy: (laughs) No way Jose! Not even close. Sometimes I wonder why I’m living with her. She came over to fool around one night a couple of years ago and she never left. Man, is she ever going to be pissed off when she finds out.

Finds out about what?

Poppy: (rubs her stomach) That I’m eating for two, now.

 

Here’s a bit about the book:

What does it take to find love in the gay community?

In a world filled with one-night stands, glory hole blowjobs and weeklong romances, what does it take to find love? This is just what our protagonist Blaine worries about. Unlike his friends, he wants to settle down.

Chuck is just looking for Mr. Right Now. A self-proclaimed jock, he is always on the lookout for a good time. But what happens when a good time becomes a very good time? Does he run away from his feelings? Or admit them to himself?

Mike and William are having problems. Marital problems. Though they don’t sleep together, they do like to sleep with others and share their stories. They had wanted a no strings attached marriage. But they did not count on actually falling in love. With each other!

Nancy is just looking for love. True and honest love. Though a little bit eccentric, he is nonetheless good to go when he catches a bartender’s eye. But is Devon what he seems? Or does a secret lurk there?

Poppy is a little distraught. A self-proclaimed man hating lipstick lesbian, she’s beginning to have doubts about her sexuality. It may have something to do with the baby in her stomach. Her lover River Moon Falls will be pissed if she finds out!

She does the only thing she can do: turns to her best friend Blaine for help. Despairing that he will ever meet Mr. Right, Blaine is surprised to find him in Justin, the father of Poppy’s unborn son….

When all of these people come together, love is sure to show up somewhere…

We hope.

You can meet Poppy in Lust and Lemonade, available April 20th from Renaissance Press! Learn more here: http://renaissancebookpress.com/

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Magical Love – A Poem

Happy Anniversary to the man I love. I can’t believe I’ve been with you for three years when it only feels as if I met you a month ago. I can’t wait to explore all that life has to offer with you by my side. xoxoxo

*

When I was younger,large

I cast a spell for you.

I wished for a man who was kind,

a man who was sincere,

someone who had a sense of humour,

who liked to laugh,

who enjoyed the sound

of the wind through the trees.

I wished for a man who

would love all of me completely.

I kept that wish,

bright as a star,

inside of a box.

At night, it would brighten my room,

dissolving the shadows.

As the years went by,

I began to wonder

if my spell had lost its power.

I had met many men,

but none that met

the elements of the spell

that I had laid out

all those years ago.

The wish inside a box

underneath my bed

no longer dissolved the shadows.

It had but a pinprick of

light and magic left.

When the wish grew dark,

I gave up all hope

that I would meet you.

Instead, I prepared for a life alone.

The very next day,

I met you.

You stood, glowing with light,

as if you carried my wish

inside of you and the light

was trying to burst free.

When I met you,

I knew that you

were who I had wished for

all those years ago.

We share a magical love,

a love that knows no boundaries,

one that grew from a seed

of the brightest magic

into a star that we

both carry inside of us.

I love you more than words can say

and as we prepare to

let our love grow further,

I can’t wait to find out

what kind of magic

we will create,

brighter than the stars.

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Lust and Lemonade – Meet Nancy!

lust and lemonade cover screen

For the second of five character interviews, please welcome Nancy! How are you doing today?

Nancy: Fabulous. Is there any other way to be?

Well, I don’t know. My usual philosophy is to sparkle on.

Nancy: And where do you think you get that sparkle from? From being fabulous. You’re not to hard on the eyes either, if you don’t mind me saying.

Oh, well thank you very much. So can you tell me a little about yourself?

Nancy: This is where I tell you what I do for a living, how much I make and what my cock size is?

Um, you can leave off what you make in a year and the size of your penis.

Nancy: Good, otherwise it’s like another date at a gay bar! Well, I’m a graphic designer. I design web sites and do layouts for companies, for ads and promotional materials, that kind of thing. What I really want to do is write.

You’re a writer? Do you have anything published?

Nancy: Nah, it’s just a secret dream. I have tons of journals filled with my scribbles and several unfinished novels. I like writing poetry, too. Sometimes, I feel like I have too many words inside me and I just have to let them out.

Well, you’re already a writer. Just make sure you follow that dream.

Nancy: Aren’t you the sweetest thing? Thank you for saying that.

So is your name really Nancy?

Nancy: Nope, but it suits me. I’m kind of a Nancy boy. You may not have noticed, but I’m a little bit more fabulous than the average gay man.

I did. I really like the purple and gold eye shadow.

Nancy: Isn’t it divine? MAC makes the most gorgeous shades. They make this pink shimmer stuff that is to die for.

So are you seeing anyone?

Nancy: Why do people always ask that? As if being with someone is something that determines your worth as a person?

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.

Nancy: Oh, you didn’t upset me, I’m all good honey. And no, I’m not seeing anyone. I haven’t been lucky in love.

Haven’t met the right guy?

Nancy: Oh honey, all that’s out there is Mr. Right Now. They are all into you while the booze is flowing and they get your clothes off, but afterwards it’s thanks for the wham bam thank you Stan and you never see them again. Whatever happened to love?

You believe in love?

Nancy: Honey, I’m a writer and a romantic. Of course I believe in love. I believe in all consuming love, mad love, delirious love. A love that is like the stories of old where nothing exists except you and the person that holds your heart. Good luck finding that in the gay community though. That kind of love doesn’t exist.

I don’t believe that. You just have to be open to it. Something good will come your way.

Nancy: Thanks honey. Can you make sure that he looks like Brad Pitt? Or Sean Connery? Or maybe a little like Richard Gere? Or maybe all three of them together. Beggars can’t be choosers, you know?

I’ll see what I can do. Thank you for talking to me today.

Nancy: No, honey, thank you. Anyone tell you that you’re very easy on the eyes?

I think someone told me that not to long ago…

 

Here’s a bit about the book:

What does it take to find love in the gay community?

In a world filled with one-night stands, glory hole blowjobs and weeklong romances, what does it take to find love? This is just what our protagonist Blaine worries about. Unlike his friends, he wants to settle down.

Chuck is just looking for Mr. Right Now. A self-proclaimed jock, he is always on the lookout for a good time. But what happens when a good time becomes a very good time? Does he run away from his feelings? Or admit them to himself?

Mike and William are having problems. Marital problems. Though they don’t sleep together, they do like to sleep with others and share their stories. They had wanted a no strings attached marriage. But they did not count on actually falling in love. With each other!

Nancy is just looking for love. True and honest love. Though a little bit eccentric, he is nonetheless good to go when he catches a bartender’s eye. But is Devon what he seems? Or does a secret lurk there?

Poppy is a little distraught. A self-proclaimed man hating lipstick lesbian, she’s beginning to have doubts about her sexuality. It may have something to do with the baby in her stomach. Her lover River Moon Falls will be pissed if she finds out!

She does the only thing she can do: turns to her best friend Blaine for help. Despairing that he will ever meet Mr. Right, Blaine is surprised to find him in Justin, the father of Poppy’s unborn son….

When all of these people come together, love is sure to show up somewhere…

We hope.

You can meet Nancy in Lust and Lemonade, available April 20th from Renaissance Press! Learn more here: http://renaissancebookpress.com/

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Rogue Love by Michelle St. James – A Book Review

Rogue_Love_front_cover_A[19618]Braden Kane is at a crossroads.

Working as an FBI agent has never been glamorous, but he always felt that he was on the right side of the law, doing good work to protect the world from people who would wish it harm. However, after getting involved with people he thought to be hardened criminals and discovering that they were human, that they were doing the right thing according to their own law, he’s been reconsidering right from wrong. Nico had taught him another way to view the world.

After botched raid, Kane decides he’s had enough. He decides to join forces with Locke Montgomery. A Robin Hood style of criminal, he takes from the rich to give to those in need. And what Kane needs now is Nora Murphy.

Working as her partner in the FBI, Braden kept his hands to himself and loved him from afar. He always thought that starting something with her while they were working together would be wrong. Now that he’s working for Locke, though, all bets are off.

The two of them start something that was always bubbling beneath the surface. Nora had always wanted Braden, but knew that to get involved would complicate matters. Now though, he’s hers for the asking. They begin to experience their growing attraction together when Nora learns what Braden left the FBI to do.

Nora is shocked. Her father was the consummate cop, always on the right side of the law. Her brothers are a different story altogether. They do what they can to skate outside of the law. Nora has always been the one to follow in her father’s footsteps, upholding the law and what is right, fighting against that which is wrong.

With Braden now on the other side of the law, she doesn’t know if she can deal with it. But when she has a chance to catch a mole in the FBI with the help of those she has been fighting against, can she turn away from help when it is offered, especially when it involves Braden?

Her mother always told her “Everything you need to know is right in front of you.” Nora has no idea what’s in front of her, but she knows that Braden is part of the riddle her life has become…

Michelle Zink never fails to amaze me. Writing as Michelle St. James, she is no different. She doesn’t just write novels. She writes worlds that you want to crawl into. She doesn’t just merely pen characters. She creates characters that you truly know and become emotionally involved with.

I loved reading about Nora and Braden and about the battle between what is right and what is wrong that each of them are going through. Braden feels it’s better to fight the good fight, no matter what side of the law you are on. Nora is the consummate good girl, always wanting to do right.

While Braden was amazing and drool worthy, it was Nora who really captured my attention and my heart. I loved watching her deal with her internal issues and trust her heart. Her story also touched me deeply. Having a family torn apart by death and seeing the different ways that the passing of a loved one can effect those left behind was raw and somehow beautiful.

Add to that Braden’s relationship with his mother and the emotions hit home. He struggles with having a relationship with a mother he doesn’t really know anymore. His father left more scars than can be seen and Braden carries them deep.

What I love most about Michelle’s writing is that the emotions for all the character’s ring true. There is truth within their emotions and this adds to the depth of the book. I was moved by these characters and I fell in love with them as they went on their journey.

I can’t wait for Locke Montgomery’s story in Rebel Love!

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What the Rainbow Means to Me – A Poem

When I was young,smaller

I knew that there was

something different about me.

I shone too brightly,

but had no words

to put a name to

the magic that was within me.

Growing up, I was always told

that being gay was

a bad thing,

unnatural,

a horrible sin,

I was taught to fear gay people,

which meant fearing myself.

I was fourteen when

I saw my first rainbow.

The flag was flying outside

of a shop. I wondered

what it could mean.

When I found out

that it symbolized gay Pride,

that it encompassed a whole rainbow

of people like me,

I was overjoyed.

A rainbow represents joy,

the possibility of magic

and it is a gift that the sky

bestows upon us.

When I finally did come out,

the first thing I did

was to go and buy

a pendant with the Pride colours.

I wore them knowing that

I should not hide who I am

or the magic that resides within.

To me, the Pride flag meant

that I could be proud,

that we are all one

and the same.

The rainbow united us

with its message of hope

of acceptance and love.

And in its bright light,

I finally felt comfortable

in my own skin.

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